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November 24th, 2009
06:52 pm - all there ever was
YOU TELL ME
AM I NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH?
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November 23rd, 2009
11:17 pm - What kind of heart are you?
Today, during a part of training, we had to swim with buckets tied to a string which was attached to our waist. Out of those 40 laps, I was just thinking to myself that, each lap represents a setback in our life and the bucket represents a burden each and everyone of us has to carry. Those kinds of 'burdens' which we have no choice but to take them with us. For example, maybe your brother is an irritating irresponsible bastard, he fights with you all the time, and you say you hate him but deep down in your heart you still love him yes? If he gets into deep shit you'll still put him first piority at that point in time and you're willing to sacrifice anything to protect him. Or something along that line. He's not a burden, but the choices he makes which leads to those shitty consequences is a burden to you. He chooses to pick a fight with your good friend, you have to bear that unnecessary burden of getting him out of it. He chooses to fight with your parents over freedom/money/privacy/ or maybe disrespect them, and you're caught inbetween. Should you stand up for him or your parents? His choice creates this burden. It had nothing to do with you at all, no. You can totally choose to ignore it, but by doing it you become an irresponsible bastard. With these 'burdens' comes great responsiblity. Only those who are matured enough in their hearts will understand and carry this bucket all the way through every lap of their life, no matter how tiring, painful and torturous the journey is. They never give up.
I wish i could find the enduring, responsible heart somewhere in me.
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November 22nd, 2009
03:29 am
"Its my own cheating heart that makes me want to cry."
-Skins
somehow maybe me in the past can relate to this.
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November 21st, 2009
10:50 am
knee hurts
head hurts
ribs hurts
neck hurts
calves hurts
thighs hurts
feet hurts
lung hurts
body hurts.
heart fucking hurts the most.
Current Music: Rocket in the sky - Benny Benassi <3
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November 20th, 2009
11:11 am
I'm desperate to say now I need you more than ever
but all I could say was goodnight
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